Prayers for Irene

After hearing the word, “prayer,” about a bazillion times in reference to hurricane Irene, I have become a little irked. I have seen hurricane angel invocations. There are Irene prayer chains (in which one asshat said he would pray for everyone except the president and his wife)...nice. Keep it classy, conservatives! I even found an article that actually had to be written that attempts to discourage the faithful from attending mass during a raging storm this weekend.

Prayers and official decrees of protection? Angels? I just read a headline, “Prayer, preparedness essential as hurricane travels north.” Maybe I’m just simple, but this seems like a contradiction. Prayer is one thing. Preparedness is another. One is a silent dialogue that may or may not spare your new bay window, the other will possibly save your window. If the power of prayer is real, why prepare at all? Simply pray for your electricity to stay on. Don’t bother getting batteries and a flashlight. Just say some spells of protection and the angel, Suriel, will make sure your basement doesn’t flood.

And, speaking of magical thinking, who is going to be the first one to officially find a sin that is being punished by God in the form of a hurricane.Whoever does come forward with a sanctimonious reason this storm is a sign or a godly scolding is just another pious bully. Is it not enough that people feel irrationally compelled to venture out in a hurricane to chant and tithe? Must you also make them feel guilty for a natural phenomenon? Hey, Pat Robertson? It’s a storm. Don’t even start. 

I won’t pray for you, my east coast readers. But I will cross my fingers, hold my breath, say bloody Mary five times, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, rub my tummy and pat my head, and do a non-rain dance for you. And should the storm be very bad, I will send money. Please be safe, sensible, and I hope you weather the storm well.