|Honey, I broke the car again.|
Cletus Take the Reel, by Tim Hawkins
|Honey, I broke the car again.|
I don't base my sense of morality on a book or ancient teachings, such as the Bible. Many ancient holy texts are not exactly completely moral themselves, anyway, as I'm sure you know, and are chock full of cruelty, abuse, murder, incest, slavery, and misogyny. I base my moral decisions on how I want to be treated. The golden rule, so to speak, which existed in many forms and cultures thousands of years before the Bible or Jesus. It is a basic consideration for humanity. I don't respect people, animals, and my earth because of a supernatural reward of an afterlife or a great punisher who sees my every move. I do the right thing because it is right. Compassion and ethics exist regardless of the popular religions of the day.2. If you don't believe in an afterlife, what's the point in living?
Um, the point of living, is live it! To change the world for the better. To leave your mark on it and help others. Love others, share your ideas, inspire! Create and enjoy! Laugh, celebrate, learn, and become the best person you can be! Not believing in an afterlife makes life that much more precious and urgent. It makes me want to be damn sure the ones I love know it. Right now.3. How can you not believe in something beyond the natural world?
The natural world and intricacies of the universe are astounding and still so unknown. There remains so much to be discovered. Are there multiple universes? What is dark matter, and oh man, why is there so much more of it than we thought before? I don't need supernatural beings and old stories to feel inspired. I am in such awe of what I have learned about this universe, though I will never know all there is to know. Why cheapen this amazing existence with anything other than the reverence for what we have learned about the natural world before us? And even when this scientific knowledge comes forth, why can't we collectively exclaim, "'This is better than we thought! The universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way!'" (Carl Sagan)
The burden of proof is not on the nonbeliever any more than the burden of proof is on us to prove the nonexistence of bigfoot. The nonexistence of something requires no proof. "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence," again, as Dr. Sagan proposed. Ball's in your court to support your lofty claims. I claim nothing incredible.5. You worship the devil, then?
Why would atheists worship the devil? That would make us Satanists. No, sorry, we do not believe in anything supernatural. Many atheists believe "evil" is simply a human label, and there are no demons or devils, because to believe you are being led astray is to transfer blame and not take responsibility for your behavior. Own your misdeeds.
|Own your cuteness.|
I do believe in something higher than myself. But these things are all honorable human traits that I aspire to. Love, altruism, sacrifice, parental protective instinct, childhood wonder, grace and humility, our ability to heal and learn, our place in the order of life, and our connection with all life forms. I am star-stuff! I am inspired by little things in daily life, like when I encounter a lizard on my porch, and it looks me right in the eye...not at my feet or my stomach. This tiny life form knows to make eye contact. That is amazing. This life is amazing. I believe in multitudes of beautiful things, they just happen to be rooted in reality. They are "higher" than me, because I continuously attempt to reach a higher level and grow over my life and achieve noble traits.7. Why are you so aggressive? Stop posting things about atheism, you're being hostile about your beliefs. Stop pushing your ideas on me.
How many times do you see a Facebook post, for example, that is a prayer request, a Bible quote, or a "thanks be to God!" that the baby is recovering from the stomach flu? Is that being aggressive and hostile? No? Then what's with the double standard when I post a quote about my beliefs? I have just as much right to express my views as you do. I am not pushing my ideas on you, just speaking about them freely and proudly. Why should I hide my beliefs when you can invoke opening prayers and cite scripture anytime you like? May I post a Dawkins quote? I respect your outlook with all my heart, though it is not what I believe. Why can I not have the same acceptance?8. Science requires just as much faith as my religion does.
Every time I hear this, it reveals that the person saying it does not understand the scientific method. Science responds according to current evidence. When new evidence comes forth, after hypothesis, testing, and validation, the knowledge base is changed for the future. Religious dogma persists despite evidence or challenge.
I do not base my worldview on an internal, subjective feeling a.k.a. faith. Atheists simply require knowledge outside of a text or what our parents taught us or what the majority insists is true. Just because an idea is popular does not mean that it is valid. Atheism has nothing whatsoever to do with faith. It is based in fact, not feeling.10. I'll pray for you to find the truth and for you to be more open-minded about the miracles we see every day.
This seems, by far, to be most condescending, yet common response I hear. It implies that you, the subscriber to one specific religion in one specific time in human history, not the thousands of other religions, past or present, have the one, true answer to the mysteries of existence, and the rest of us who have any other religious adherence or viewpoints are deluded. Atheists do not say there is no god. They just don't believe in one as a personal choice. They wait humbly for the evidence. If I discover tomorrow that they found the force behind life and the universe, and it happens to be an intelligent being, "I'll spin on a fucking dime, I'll be embarrassed as hell," again, in the illustrious words of Tim Minchin. Until then, I will continue to derive my joy and inspiration from what is real and measurable, knowable...and continue to be completely in awe of life, thankful for every moment that I have on this planet.And here's a bonus. "This one goes to eleven."
This one should be obvious. It is simply geography. I grew up in the South. In the United States. How much exposure do you suppose I've had to the Upanishads? How many Muslims do you think have tried to save my soul? I studied the old and new testaments in college. I was raised Episcopalian. It's just what I know, nothing more than that. We all draw from our experiences.None of you can know how much I love my fellow humans. You'll just have to "have faith" in that. :-) I wish we could all just get along.
Australian accent: "So I was at the barber, you know, getting a trim, and I was sitting next to a bloke doing the same. The person cutting his hair was a young, attractive female, nice body, very easy to look at. As time passed, we all became aware of some uh, movement under his, uh...his um..."
Audience member yells, "Cape!"
Tim laughs. "No, not cape. If it was behind him and was waving in the wind, that'd be a cape. What is that word?"
Another yells, "Smock!"
Tim takes off his jacket and puts it on backwards over his shoulders and across his chest to simulate a barber smock.
"So, as I was saying, we all started to be aware of a certain movement under this guy's smock."
Tim reaches under his jacket and begins rapidly moving a hand up and down. Hilarity ensues.
"So, the young girl becomes infuriated and yells at him, 'How revolting! How dare you do that!'
and she rips off the smock and throws it onto the floor."
He dramatically throws down his jacket. Underneath "the smock," Tim was pantomiming cleaning something with a cloth.
"The man was shocked, and innocently says, 'What!? I was just cleaning my glasses!'"
"'Yeah, they are absolutely covered in semen.'"
|Give me strength.|
|And when it started a fire.|
|This would be my choice today.|
|This movie, Jesus Camp, is mysteriously not filed under the Horror genre on Netflix.|
|Note to self. Take granddaughter out of will.|
|Here's a flower and a kitten for you.|
|Ah, that's kind of a nice message. Nothing judgmental about that.|
|That's not so bad. It's just a symbol representing a torture device.|
|Well, now, this is a just nice billboard aimed at helping young mothers with unwanted pregnancies. I'm sure the counselors at this organization will discuss all options with these impressionable young women, right? Right?|
|Oh, that's kind of sad. This church only had enough money to buy half a billboard. Jesus is like, "Oh, I see how it is. How about I send only half of your soul to heaven, huh? Choose now, asshole.You want the top half or the bottom half to go to hell?" On another note, you can rent almost everything at the Grand Rental Station. Let's go check that out!|
|The Bible tells how to make a U-turn? Can they also tell me how to parallel park, because I suck at that, ha ha ha haaa-oh, what is that?!|
|Eek. That's kind of an ominous sign.|
|Oh my gosh. It is?!|
|Yikes, scary devil face!!|
|But I don't want to die today!!!|
|I'm young, I like wine, I enjoy watching men's olympic swimming, I'm lustful, I'm wearing a short skirt, I own tarot cards, I once stole a marble from my best friend when I was five, and I'm an atheist. Check, check, and check!|
|Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home!!!|
|I've done this too.|
"Hi, all you multitudes of Friendly Atheist followers, this is Hemant. I know that you visit my site about 25,000 times each day, so I wanted to share something that made me roll my eyes. Look at this complete idiot here. This is how not to write a blog. Just read this post by the Blonde Nonbeliever and laugh uncontrollably at her stupid and completely pointless rambling."Turns out, it was a good link. Whew! Thanks, most friendly of the atheists. I appreciate the support! I will eat a Chicago-style hot dog, with the hot pepper, in your name!
|There's me right there! Behind the big screen.|
Abraham asked the Lord to spare 50 righteous people. God responded to Abraham's plea "If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all" ....Genesis 18:16-33
The movie "Corpus Christi" is due to be released this June to August. A disgusting film set to appear in America later this year depicts Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals! As a play, this has already been in theatres for a while. It's called "Corpus Christi" which means "The Body of Christ". It's revolting mockery of our Lord. But we can make a difference.
That's why I am sending this e-mail to you. If you do send this around, we just might be able to prevent this film from showing in America . Let's stand for what we believe in and stop the mockery of Jesus Christ our Savior. Where do we stand as Christians? At the risk of a bit of inconvenience, I'm forwarding this to all I think would appreciate it, too. Please help us prevent such offenses against our Lord. There is no petition to sign, no time limit, or minimum number of people to send this to.. It will take you less than 2 minutes!
If you are not interested and do not have the 2 minutes it will take to do this, please don't complain when God does not have time for you because He is far busier than we are. Hey it's worth a shot!
Apparently, some regions in Europe have already banned the film. All we need is a lot of prayer and a lot of e-mails.This email, and its various past versions, has been in circulation since 2000, and a Hollywood movie never came to pass about a gay Jesus. It is widely known as a hoax.
JUST GET THE WORD OUT
....will God be able to find at least 50 righteous people who are willing to express their concern and voice their opinion against this act of blasphemy!!!"
|Steven only forwarded the Corpus Christi email to thirty-six people? Piano on the head. Heh heh heh.|
If you have a bible on your bookshelf, you may be a Christian. If you have a Koran on your bookshelf, you may be a Muslim. If you have a Torah on your bookshelf, you may be Jewish. If you have all three, you are probably an atheist.I have to suggest that atheists are more tolerant and understanding when it comes to religious diversity and the commonality that many humans have to find a purpose and a power outside of themselves to lend order to their lives, even with the Angry Atheist stereotype we have to endure.
|Great. Way to be subtle, dumbass.|